1. How can I be patient and submit to my husband when I don’t agree with him?
We are unable to do this alone, but Christ in us is fully able. With this understanding, we can be led by what the Holy Spirit teaches us through the Word in how to do it: “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” (Ephesians 3:20)
Patience and long suffering are fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) These qualities enable us to patiently endure in gentleness, accepting our husband’s decisions who may sometimes lack in wisdom and judgment.
Submission means to yield, defer, accept, surrender, or comply. We are always to do things unto the Lord and not for our husbands, others. or even ourselves. “…do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” (Col. 3:17) This helps us maintain a godly perspective and motivation in each situation. Oh, it is not easy but gives us the ability to focus above to be approved.
2. I need to work so our family can make ends meet, but I am missing so much time with my young children.
There are many things in this world that we desire; we always want what we think is best. Yet, the reality is there are things and situations that we need to accept and can’t control, at least for the time. As we gain patience, knowing we have grace, pray for God to adjust our mind and accept situations, make new goals, or at times, make change.
How you use the time that you do have with your children is most important. Counsel them to avoid wasting time on too much electronics or unprofitable things. Plan time wisely: in the car, before and after work, bedtime, and on the weekends or days off. Encourage discussions, or schedule special time with each child (one-to-one time to intimately connect and show your love and individual care). Plan family mini-vacations, outings, story times, projects, etc. Ask your husband and children for their ideas. Being able to discuss this and make a plan with your family can intensify the wonderful results. Be creative!
3. With having kids and our recent move, I can’t seem to find a way to make godly friends. Any suggestions?
Our responsibility is to use what we have been taught, think about the issue, and then act upon it. Pray on your desire for a while, talking to God to help you think out what you specifically want. Once your goal is clear, brainstorm in prayer ideas, and think on how to actualize them. Try some things!
A few suggestions to get started: a) Check at the clubhouse for posted activities and attend something that sparks interest. b) Post your own notice in the clubhouse or nearby community boards to invite others to a ‘Get to Know One Another’ gathering and Bible sharing. c) Take a walk through your neighborhood and introduce yourself to others. d) Go door to door with your husband or place a flyer on the outside of local mailboxes to introduce yourself or invite others to a neighborhood cookout, etc.
4. I am a stay-at-home Mom and when my husband comes home from work, he always seems cranky. What can I do?
First, it is great you noticed a pattern. Both you and your husband have needs at this point of the day. You are tired and have had responsibility for your children all day, which can be draining. However, your husband has been out in the world and had pressures and demands that can be difficult; he looks forward to coming home for a break.
While you need respite, make time to discuss the issue with him to find a plan that works for both of you to get the rest you need. Bombarding him with all the challenges you have faced and dumping your needs on him when he is tired may not be wise. Prefer him and allow him fifteen minutes to have alone time. Then, if your need is to talk or take a small break, make an agreement ahead of time to do this. Definitely set time to discuss your needs regarding the children or the day’s issues. Communication is important.
5. My husband and I are losing our closeness as we are so busy with our young children. Any suggestions?
Have a conversation with your husband about your feelings and what you’d like. Ask him to share his thoughts. Brainstorm some ways to carve out time weekly. Set one evening a week for a date night. It can be a stay-at-home activity if babysitting is a problem. Train the kids to stay in their rooms and set them up with a fun box for only these specific nights. Make a special dinner, play a game, have topical discussions, and/or take time for intimacy. Consider joining a gym to work out as some offer babysitting. Another idea is to find time once a month to go out when you can have a babysitter. Get dressed up for dinner and a movie. Take turns planning these dates. In all cases, have fun with it.
